Asking for reference letters

• I prefer requests for recommendation letters by email (but other people feel that asking in person is important. I think this can put someone on the spot, which can backfire).

• Don’t ask, “could you write a letter?” Instead ask, “Do you have the time to write a strong letter supporting my application to graduate school," or some other phrasing to allow the person a graceful out if they do not feel they can write you a strong letter. Ethical letter-writers will be up-front with you if they don't feel their letter will be helpful, but some are afraid of hurting your feelings.
  

• Describe the degree program or internship or job you need the reference for. Why that opportunity, how you decided, your goals afterward.

• Give the person enough time to write a good letter. Ask at least a month before the due date. However, you may ask at short notice if you are polite, deferential, and apologetic (if they have already written you a letter, it's often not difficult to adapt it). Definitely better to ask late than to miss an opportunity!  If they agree, supply them with everything they need immediately.
  

• Highlight the due date in multiple ways/places. Send a polite reminder if you haven't received confirmation that the letter has been sent.
  

• Give them ALL materials required: recommendation forms, transcript, essays, program (or job) description or a link to program information.
  
• Ask for advice. If they agree to give you feedback on your cover letter, CV, or application, use it.
  
• Keep an eye out for signals that they perhaps do not want to write a letter on your behalf.  A bad letter can hurt your application.
  

          Corollary to above: If they say no, accept it.

• Let your writer know how it all turned out!

 What you can give me to get a good letter (esp. for undergrads/first time letter-requesters)

• In addition to a CV and transcripts, provide me with concrete examples of specific activities or behaviours I could have observed (e.g., performance in the lab or my class on oral/written communication skills, ability to understand and apply constructive feedback) or extrapolate from your materials (e.g., strong academic standing from your transcript, leadership activities from your CV) that  demonstrate each of the criteria that the reference letter indicates is important for the program. For example, problem-solving examples, written/oral communication evidence, teamwork, leadership (in or out of the lab), integrity, etc. The more specific examples there are, the stronger I can make the letter.
  
• These examples could be in the form of a fully ghost-written letter, a series of short paragraphs, or simply a bulleted list.
• The reference letter is also an opportunity to explain gaps or poor performance, so if there's anything you'd like highlighted (e.g., family emergency caused poor performance in a class or switching of interests caused a delay while new background classes had to be taken), throw that in, too.
• I can also highlight qualities/experiences related to EDI-D issues. Do you come from a non-traditional background, are you the first in your family to go to college/graduate school, do you have significant family responsibilities, etc.? This is very broad--if you feel you have experiences or qualities that are relevant to enhancing diversity or that have bearing on equity issues, even if they aren't in 'traditional' categories listed under EDI-D checklists, feel free to include descriptions of them.
• What you send doesn't need to be worded beautifully--I will edit to be my style and reflect my thoughts.
• If at all possible (often for medical school) please look up the reference letter format and tailor your organization of information to me to the required format. A generic letter for graduate school is straightforward, but some apps require short answers to specific questions/characteristics of the candidates, so having concrete examples to put forward for each of those is helpful. Others want one long letter but that "comments" on a list of characteristics, in which case provide examples (as suggested above) that are related to those characteristics. If you can't find any details, this is an example list:
  

            • Work Ethic
            • Resilience and Ability to Overcome Challenges
            • Oral Communication
            • Curiosity
            • Ability to Contribute as Part of a Team
            • Community Engagement
            • Integrity
            • Willingness / Openness to Learning
            • Written Communication
            • Critical Thinking
            • Adaptability / Flexibility
            • Humility